Role Play with Benefits (NSFW)

For many reasons, Second Life (SL) has been my social life for some time now. At present, I help care for my step-mother 24/7/365 and prior to that I practiced hard at being invisible. Anthrophobia (fear of people), Androphobia (fear of men), and a touch of Agoraphobia (fear of outdoors), and other therapy-required issues have kept me very alone, family notwithstanding. Today I have almost no problem going outside, being near people is well-handled by the occasional tranquilizer, and I don’t leave the house unarmed (legally … I have a concealed weapon permit because although I know that I won’t ever be held against my will again, it could happen … gotta love paranoia, right?).

One avatar here is me and one is an alt. Looong story.

So, let’s put one and one and one and one together: SL is my social life. I have a “wife” in SL. This blog often has pictures of my avatar’s bare backside. The Isle of Lesbos, where I “work” in SL, is well-known as a nookie center for lesbians. Yes, I have sex in Second Life.

Never having had phone sex, I can’t verify what folks tell me — that SL sex is like phone sex with pictures, but I get the idea. Essentially, its two people helping each other masturbate long-distance over an electronic medium, but instead of a phone, they use avatars in a virtual world. Its role play with benefits.

I won’t document here what my SL sex life is like beyond saying it is rich, varied, and better than satisfactory. Once every Blue Moon I manage to have Real Life (RL) sex and if could do that regularly I’d probably give up SL sex. There are people who document their SL sex lives, though, and in great detail, often in their profiles. And I’m afraid to look at the “feeds” in many an avatar’s profile for fear of what I might see (Scaredaothershankypankyaphobia). And others go even further.

For example: Janet Waverider (as seen on Boobpedia; very NSFW). Holy Crepes! I don’t exactly hide what I do or who I do in SL, stopping way short of putting details in my profile, but I can’t imagine putting myself on a site like Boobpedia (it is voluntary; I checked). Don’t ask me how I came across Janet’s page on that site (porn happens). I’ve never seen SL mixed in with RL in this fashion. Sure, there are SL sex blogs (I’ve never intentionally looked at one) and its hard to travel Mainland SL without finding a public sex place.* But in my many years traveling Our World, this was a first for me. Usually, SL sex isn’t quite like that despite Voice availability and external Web cam services.

Could it be the anonymity that SL sex offers? Probably not in Janet’s instance as her Boobpedia page links to detailed RL information. But I think the idea of being able to behave as you wish in a virtual world, with drama being the only consequence, lures people into forms of SL sex they’d never consider otherwise especially since they are as anonymous as they want to be. Others, consciously or not, use anonymity to express feelings, urges, and desires they could never hitherto express. I see a very high number of “Rezbians,” for example, women who tire of the male/female relationship and find it more comfortable to be with other women, with or without sex. You may have heard one woman tell another “I’m so lesbian for you.” In SL, its easier to have a Womance** … one woman comfortably loving another woman for who they are inside.

Certainly there are be other examples of how blindfolded relationships play out in Second Life, but back to how it is documented … do you have a secret stash of pictures? Do you blog about it? Does your Real Life significant other (or others) know about it? Or are you open about it at all? And how likely are you to reply to this post?

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*Really, SL public sex places are usually just public statue gardens since most folks mere stand around as noobs bump and hump them. But that’s another blog post I’ve been thinking about.

** I couldn’t find what a female “bromance” is called so, I came up with that. I think I’m the first to use it.

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